The Fanboy, The Prodigy, and The Piano Ninja
by Killjoy Whatsername
Summary: China found someone who can actually play the Death Waltz...backwards. But the question wasn't how he was able to do it, it was how he got his hands on that instrument in the first place. "And this ain't Difficulty Level: Austria, it's Level Asian!"


**I found out that Death Waltz and UN Owen Was Her are completely different songs. Someone on YouTube just uploaded UN Owen with the wrong title and everyone confused it with Death Waltz ever since. When I talk about Death Waltz here, I mean UN Owen Was Her because if you play the actual Death Waltz, it just sounds like you're literally walking on piano keys. **

**There's also a possibility that I'll make this a collection on Classical Music x Hetalia oneshots.**

**You don't have to read "Now Play It Backwards Aru!" to get this, but I suggest doing so if you're unfamiliar with my headcanon. You also won't get the title unless you read "Now Play It Backwards Aru!" This is sort of a sequel.**

**Special thanks to pengirl100and2 for reviewing Now Play It Backwards Aru! which helped me come up with the title for this one. Thanks to all my reviewers in general. If you read my other stories, some reviewers do get a special thanks of they unintentionally help me with a story.**

**Lastly, do you know how hard it is to write a fanfiction that involves Ivan and Yao in the same room while avoiding pairings?**

****None of us fans own Hetalia.****

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The Fanboy, the Prodigy, and the Piano Ninja

It had been hours since the chaotic World Summit had ended, so most of the nations either went home to take care of business or got involved in misadventures, much to the host country's dismay. At the moment he thought they were alone, Austria thought that it was the time to finally relax, for real. The troublemakers, like a certain American, have left the building and the aristocrat decided to have some bonding time with his new fellow musician.

He stood right next to the grand piano, where the other virtuoso nation played a fast paced melody that sounded like it came from a video game. With all the notes mashed together, even Austria didn't know if he could play it himself. He really wouldn't bother to. No supposed humanly impossible song could beat the classical pieces Austria knew and loved.

At the last part of the song, where the player had to hit all the notes of multiple octaves, Austria freaked out in the inside when he saw how far the other country went to hit all those notes. Ten fingers just weren't enough to do that, one must attempt to do a plank on the keys with a leg on the ground for support. "Poor piano..."Austria thought.

Well, one does not simply pull off that last move anyway. (Although someone else was able to do it in a YouTube video.)

The musician sat normally and took a deep breath after the seemingly unplayable piano routine.

"How was that, aru?" he asked.

"I see you can play the 'Death Waltz,'" Austria said, "But can you play it backwards?"

The other nation, China, gave a soft chuckle and replied "That was a joke I use on Hong Kong when I make him play. Nobody on my family really knows how to play the 'Death Waltz' backwards aru."

"I never knew you and I shared such a common interest. Since when did you play piano, anyway?"

"Me, aru? I really don't remember. But when I am interested in something, I make sure I am the best at it aru! I even teach the same thing to my brothers and sisters aru,"

"So, you're the competitive type, huh?"

"That's right aru. Personally, I think we should all do the same. At being the best at everything, I mean. It's always practice for long time aru,"

"You're this dedicated? That's great. Even if he had a lot of amazing composers, Germany normally doesn't care about my music,"

"Like I said, I have to be the best aru," China rose from his seat in front of the instrument and gestured for Austria to take it. "So can you play the Death Waltz backwards aru?"

"It depends whether or not it sounds good backwards,"

They exchanged a short laugh and fell silent to the twisted sound of high pitched string instrument. It sounded like one of those paranormal audio recordings mixed with a Pokémon

battle theme.

"Does that noise answer your question aru?"

"Ja..."

"Where is it coming from aru?"

"I think it's from across the hall,"

And so, the two followed the mysterious noise which they assumed was the Death Waltz played backwards. To their surprise, the room across the hall was empty, no people or furniture whatsoever, but there was another door in that room that led to their answer.

Austria turned the doorknob, which refused to cooperate.

"It's locked!"

"I'll take care of this aru," China stepped in front of the locked door.

"Wait, you're going to use your Kung fu moves on that door? We'll have to pay for it later!" Austria warned.

"I'm not that violent aru," China sighed as he reached for the back of his head and took a hairpin out of the area around where his ponytail was. This was where everyone really starts questioning whether or not China was a chick.

"This doesn't feel right aru. Picking locks at someone else's house..."

"Is it worth it, though?"

"Worth seeing who could play Death Waltz backwards aru? It must be one of my relatives aru!" China said proudly.

Austria was curious himself, so they proceeded to pick the lock, and beyond the other side of the door was a tall figure staring out the window with a well crafted violin in his hands. He really was playing it for real. Austria could tell that the way the bow glides on the strings synced with the actual notes that he heard. Before he could finish playing, the figure abruptly paused and looked at Austria and China's direction.

"Russia?" they gasped.

Russia smiled sweetly and waved at them.

"How did you do that?" Austria asked, amazed.

"I read the sheet music," Russia answered, China was still giving him a dirty look.

"I don't care how you were able to do that aru. First, where did you get the violin? Second, since when did you play? And third, where did you get the sheet music aru?"

"Well, you see..." Russia began.

"Whenever I get bored, I like to spend my free time watching quality entertainment,"

China and Austria each raised an eyebrow.

"Having the Baltic trio perform a ballet show for me," Russia clarified. "So anyway, during the ballet rehearsals, I would often play the music for them. I just kind of learned how to by myself."

"Is it just me, or does that violin look oddly familiar?" Austria wondered.

Russia just continued his story. "This one time, I decided to play Death Waltz backwards for them to dance to..."

_At some point in time, the trembling Baltic trio were gathered at a nice empty room in Russia's house. They were (violently) forced in tutus, and were (unwillingly) trying out new moves for a certain psycho's entertainment._

_"Lithuania, you are twirling the wrong direction. Latvia, you need to show more enthusiasm," Russia criticized them and came up to the terrified group. He stood before Estonia in an intimidating manner and said "Estonia, that is not how you do a split," then he pushed Estonia down at his shoulders until his legs were at a 180 degree angle._

_"I-I think my skirt just ripped," he stuttered._

_"Okay," Russia called for their attention, "I will now play some background music and I expect you three to dance to the beat, da,"_

_So Russia started to play his version of Death Waltz on the violin, wherever he got it, and the other nations were, of course, out of sync. And by his version of Death Waltz, meaning the backwards version._

_"That's not right. Your movements don't match with the music," _

_"Well, if you played something else other than this train wreck of noise, maybe we could-" Latvia tried to speak up._

_The other two Baltic nations gasped and huddled close together. "Latviaaaa!" they screamed in unison._

_"Kol kol kol kol kol kol..."_

"And that is how Latvia ended up with a broken arm two weeks ago. Lithuania tried to run and tripped on Estonia, so they both had broken legs. So, did you like my story?"

China and Austria backed away as the aristocrat's eyes still focused on the uncannily familiar instrument in Russia's hand.

"But how did you learn to play backwards aru?" China asked, trying to get the disturbing image of the ballet rehearsals out of his head.

"Let's see...Da, I remember. I was with America one day and he was pestering Japan to make his computer play the Death Waltz, so I looked it up and...found...this violin and the simplified sheet music, and I tried to do it backwards and it worked."

"Found?" Austria questioned.

"By 'found,' did you mean breaking into our houses and stealing our stuff aru?" China thought.

"I'm sure that how you 'found' these items would make a much more interesting story aru," he said out loud.

But you couldn't get a confession from him that simply. "I got the sheet music online and transcribed it myself. As for the violin, I bought it from the store," Russia smiled.

"You said you 'found' them aru,"

"Da. I found it online and I found the store,"

"That still sounds suspicious aru,"

"I agree with China," Austria nodded, "Especially since that violin you're holding looks a lot like the one I lost recently,"

"But it isn't," said Russia.

"Let's take a look. I had my flag etched and painted on the back,"

"Okay then. It is not yours," Russia held the back of the instrument to Austria's face, "See? It has my flag on it,"

It looked very similar to the same flag that Austria engraved on the wood, a small rectangle with three horizontal stripes. Most of the paint wore off, except for a hint of chipping red paint in the bottom stripe.

"What are you talking about? Even Bulgaria and Yugoslavia have the bottom red stripe and I didn't bother repainting it because it costs money!"

"So this could also belong to them, da? But it is mine, not yours,"

"The flag is even on the same spot,"

"Coincidence,"

"I can't take this! I shall now express my anger through the piano in the other room! I expect my violin to be returned where you stole it by tomorrow!"

Austria marched out of the room as China held back his frustration.

"You're not planning on returning that anytime soon, aren't you aru?"

"Don't be silly. This one is mine,"

"Stop being so immature aru,"

"I'll return it if you become one with me,"

"So, you did steal it aru,"

"I just said that so you'll stop nagging,"

Nagging?

China puffed his cheeks and looked the other direction.

"I don't nag, aru," he mumbled in a cutesy voice.

"Yes, you do,"

You know what that meant...

That's right, it was time to bring out the Wok of Justice.

I'll leave what happens next up to your imaginations.


End file.
